Editing Eldramin (section)

== Chapter 8 ==
''Fannara''

''Screams.'' 

''So many screams.''

''Everywhere. Inside me. And pain.'' 

''Too much pain.''

''My back feels like it could melt off me. I wouldn’t object. It couldn’t hurt more than this.'' 

''The screams continue. They echo in the cavern, bouncing off the foreboding walls and shattering into me. But above the screams, there’s something else.'' 

''A song.'' 

''Once a lullaby, now twisted. The voice singing is beautiful, hauntingly so.'' Child of prophecy, why do you weep? 

''Something large and shrouded in shadows moves out of the corner of my eye. I know I should run, but my knees are too weak. I’ve lost too much blood because of my back.'' 

You’ve doomed your people, you’re in too deep. ''I know those aren’t the real words, but I can’t remember the right ones. I wish I did.''

''I curl up on my side, covering my head and closing my eyes against the creature that is encircling me. I’m shaking and it hurts so bad.''

Child of prophecy, you’ve reason to cry. ''The voice is getting closer. Is it coming from the creature? Could something that terrifying have such a beautiful voice?'' 

''Light breaks through in jagged lines at one end of the cavern, like the teeth of a wolf. A silhouette is suddenly visible, standing right above me. A tall figure with wings.''

''Huge wings.''

''It bends down and must be looking me in the eyes.'' 

For in this cage, you will soon die.

''It straightens and slowly walks to the entrance. I try to get up, to follow it outside. To the light. I haven’t seen it in days, I’m sure. But I can’t move, I’m frozen. I try to scream, but my throat closes up.'' 

''I can’t breathe.'' 

''The light disappears and I can hear the cavern giving in on itself. Any hope of light disappears as a black thicker than anything I’ve ever felt swallows me.'' 

''The song begins again.''

I bolted up in bed, panting, as the nightmare began replaying endlessly in my mind. I put my hands over my ears as if I could stop the song. Another headache came roaring in as I began rocking back and forth on my bed. I tried to muffle the cries trying to escape my body. I didn’t want to wake Ari up. 

I looked over to see if I had disturbed her to see her bed was empty. The bottom of the bathroom door was dark. She must have left the room. 

I debated whether I should try to find her, as my body began calming down. I had no clue what time it was, but I knew the recurring nightmare was the only thing waiting for me. 

My sheets ruffled softly as I hopped out of bed and landed on the floor with a muffled thunk. I sniffed one last time, wiped my eyes, and went to find my roommate.

It wasn’t hard to find her. Ari was walking in circles around the hallway, singing softly and rubbing her arms. She was keeping clear of the railing that encircled the balcony looking down at the other sixteen floors. 

She stopped when she saw me. “Can’t sleep either?” 

“Can, just don’t want to.”

She nodded. I had told her about the weird nightmares I kept getting when they had started up a month ago, shortly after extended training started. Ari nodded her head at the elevator in a silent question. I nodded, and we went to the bottom floor and out the doors. She had her telecom with her, letting her enter and exit the building, even at this ridiculous hour. ''2:38''. 

We walked quite a way to the group of trees that overlooked the lake. It had a small clearing in it that she and Lindin had claimed as their extended training spot after Valraea gave us permission to go outside. Moren and I just stayed in the arena. 

“So the nightmare won’t go away?”

I shook my head. “And I keep getting headaches, probably from lack of sleep.” She sighed. “Why can’t you sleep tonight?”

Ari hunched up her shoulders and gripped her arms harder. “I get homesick.” She paused. “And, this probably seems super inconsiderate, but I really miss my dad.” Her voice hiccuped.

“Why would that be inconsiderate?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, the whole ‘your parents abandoning you’ thing. It feels really selfish to miss him when I still have my mom.”

“Ari, just because my parents were awful, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t miss your dad.” I was honestly a little confused by how self-conscious she was being. It was so unlike the loud, happy, and a little aggressive Arienna I knew. “My experiences don’t make yours any less significant. My parents hated me, which makes it easy to hate them, but you don’t have that- well not exactly luxury- but you can’t say that, And you shouldn’t.”

She sniffed and shrugged again. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t remember him. It’s horrible for me to even think that, but remembering his smile, still being able to hear the little nicknames he had for me, it hurts.” Ari started shaking, and her voice changed pitch. 

“He loved me so much, I have nothing to complain about. I had his undivided love for seven years. But I’m still selfish and awful and it ''hurts''. It hurts to know that this isn’t what he would want for me. He would be so ashamed of what I’ve become- of what I ''haven’t'' become.” I was shocked. She hadn’t spoken much about her father and had never said anything about how his death made her feel. I don’t think Ari had ever just told me how she ''felt''. 

I pulled her into a hug as she trembled. Mara had been training me in giving and accepting more hugs, and I desperately hoped I had done the right thing. She finally pushed away and sat down, sniffing and wipping her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? You didn’t do anything.”

She looked at me with a doubtful expression. “Yes, I did. I just dumped all of my junk on you. I told myself I would keep it inside. No one needs to pity me. Plenty of people have lost loved ones to Shifter raids.” She yanked the hair tie holding her loose bun out of her hair and shoved it on her wrist. “It just happened so soon after she died too.” She mumbled the last part to herself, so I didn’t ask. 

“Well, I don’t think you need to apologize. I told you my junk, it’s only fair.” 

Ari snorted at me. “Oh, please, Fannara, we both know you aren’t telling me everything.”

“Neither are you.”

“Fair enough.” She sighed and stretched her arms above her head. “I get nightmares too. Lots of them.” I sat down next to her. “They aren’t exactly like yours; there isn’t something coming for me. It’s always something that happens to someone I care about. Sometimes they’re ridiculous. Lindin got stuck in a portal we don’t even use anymore in one of them, but they always scare me. Knowing that someone you love is going to get hurt or even killed and knowing there’s nothing you can do is terrifying.” 

I grimaced slightly. “Mine always have to do with me being in danger. I guess I’m the selfish one.”

“Dreams just reflect memories and what we’ve had to deal with. You had no one you felt you had to look out for before coming here, so you naturally have dreams where you have to look out for yourself.” She leaned back on her hands as if pleased by her logic.

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” She turned to look at me, slightly surprised. “Did I ever tell you about my siblings?” Ari shook her head.

“You said something about a toddler but that was it.”

I felt a part of me stir at the memory. “Well, I had three siblings, I think. I had my older brother, my younger brother, and my little sister. I can’t remember their names, or even what they looked like, but I know I loved them. I think that my little brother would help me with pranks sometimes. My older brother was often too busy to join in, but he always laughed the hardest at our antics.”

I unbraided my hair and flopped onto my back. “I miss them sometimes, but I know I would never be here, be what I am if I hadn’t left them. Rather, if I hadn’t been taken away from them.”

Ari slowly lowered her head into the grass. “I always wanted siblings. It was lonely on Lathra I. My mother was always working and I did online school so that I could still be in the same school system. Because the school was based out of Lathra IV, I would have to wake up really early, about this time, to attend. It was awful. My mom would leave for work while I was in ‘school’ and wouldn’t come home until after I had gone to sleep.” She groaned at the memory.

“Being on a different sleep schedule than everyone your age makes friendships really hard. That’s something Mara really helped me with. She found that just being nice doesn’t always work, and people end up thinking that you must always be happy, so she made me agree to an experiment of sorts. She told me not to care what anyone thought and just act like me. So I did and Mel started talking to me the next day.”

She chuckled at the memory. “The only noticeable difference the first day was that I tied my hair back and didn’t try to hide my ears.” Ari touched her pointed and slightly curved ears as she thought about it. “It was obvious I was at least partly Getterian, ears and everything. It’s not like there aren’t a lot of Getterians here, there are plenty, I just didn’t like the fact that it made it easier for people to recognize me.”

“Tell me about it.” 

“Oh?” Ari prompted me to tell the story.

“Well, I was easily recognized at the Academy in Taledine, for multiple reasons. My height, my name, the kind of magic I had, and being the ‘smart one’.”

Ari frowned up at the sky. None of the moons or Lathra I were visible tonight. “What’s up with your name? Is it not a normal one?”

“Not really? ‘Fannara’ means ‘hope’ in Alithosi, not sure what my parents meant by naming me that, but they did. So it’s not an abnormal name, it’s just a more noticeable one.” 

She nodded. “That makes sense. Is ‘Harpson’ a common last name on Alithos?”

“Oh yeah.” I couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s the Alithosi version of ‘Smith’, ''everyone'' has that last name.”

Ari laughed at that. “What is with Earthens and the name Smith?”

“I don’t even know.” I giggled along with her. 

She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “We should probably head in now.”

“Probably.” I sat up and offered her a hand. She took it and we walked back to our dorm. 

“Thanks for listening.”

I smiled at her. “Any time.” 

She opened her telecom and tapped it against the door handle, letting us in the lobby. ''3:24.'' We were going to pay for that in the morning. 

But it was totally worth it.